


Misunderstanding the robot

by Littlemisswriting



Series: Sanders sides angst because why not [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Crying, Gen, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Self-Hatred, Suicide, Suicide Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 23:37:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20497256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Littlemisswriting/pseuds/Littlemisswriting
Summary: Logan is a waste of space; he is a faulty copy of what he should be and there is no changing his mind. Logan has always been on the sidelines and no one ever really appreciated what he could do because he was always the problem... well at least that is how Logan always viewed it. So when Logan is given the opportunity to escape from all the pain and struggles he has caused would he do it?





	Misunderstanding the robot

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I am in a depressing mood right now so I decided to spread the depression...

It was another late night for Logan, curled up in his bed and sobbing for another hour or so before he had to pull himself together and pretend that everything was ok. Logan was logic, he had no time for feelings, and he would rather go head to head against Remus again than let the others know how he felt – or even that he felt at all – so he kept it all hidden behind his cold façade. Most days were tough because the sides were nice to him… too nice and it was only because they had to if Thomas wasn’t the individual that he was then they would avoid him and that would be fine because at least then they weren’t lying to him. Even Deceit won’t talk to Logan unless he had to, within the ‘Selfishness Vs Selflessness’ video Deceit chose to impersonate Logan because (no matter what Deceit tells him) with Logan out of the picture they were happy, they didn’t need him and they definitely didn’t want him there because when he was summoned Roman made it well known that his presence wasn’t needed or wanted.  
Even when Thomas was little he was pushed aside; Thomas always favoured the other sides especially Patton and Roman due to their never-ending joy and their lack of logical reason. Logan remembers when he had once tried to hang around with Thomas and the others, but he remembered the confused look that Thomas had worn when he showed up and when Thomas asked him who he was and then when he asked why he would need logic to play and create. Logan had been rejected straight away and all Patton and Roman did was laugh and call him a nerd.  
The moment he actually realised that he wasn’t wanted was a heart-breaking discovery. It was early on when starting Sander Sides. Logan and Patton were being Sherlock and Watson and trying to figure out why Thomas was lacking motivation and although Logan was the one searching for the perpetrator it turns out that he was the problem… he caused Thomas to lose his motivation but he kept up his façade to ensure that no one noticed that he wasn’t the best he could be. On that day Logan remained in his room and extensively searched and raked his brain to find why he was defective and why he was failing Thomas.  
Nowadays he may as well be a husk of what he used to be; he wasn’t sure if anyone noticed but that didn’t matter anymore. He couldn’t stay here anymore, he was dragging everyone down with him and with the research, he has done then he should be right in thinking that a new logic will replace him and it will work just like he did and the new logic won’t be flawed with emotions like him… Logan was no use to Thomas anymore and he knew that so it was time that he did his job and made room for the new model of him to take over.  
He knew what everyone really thought about him, he knew that despite them complimenting him on camera they didn’t mean it. They were simply reading a script; giving a performance but now the performance was better than reality. Logan’s heart did summersaults when Thomas called him ‘cool’ but once they caught his reaction on the camera it was like a normal day… the sides would leave their spaces and go to talk to Thomas while leaving Logan to just sink out or just stand on the sidelines and watch as they laughed and joked around.  
Logan owed it to the others to write them letters. From what Logan gathered it was a common occurrence of people who take their own life so it must be what he needed to do. Logan decided against writing a letter for Deceit and Remus; he decided to write them a joint letter instead. He started to write the letters with a shaky hand, and he held back tears as he reminisced on the good memories with each of the sides.

Dear Patton,  
This seems to be a common curtesy from people who plan to take their own lives. They leave a letter behind addressed to people so that there is no guilt – at least that is what I understand from it. I never belonged with you and the other sides, I was a problem and the most logical solution is to remove the problem or fix it… I tried to fix myself, but it didn’t work so I have to go with the only other option I have left. I can assure you that you are not at fault, you did not cause me to do this, I am a faulty version of logic and I have studied this for a while now and a new logic should be joining you and the others so it will be like I never left. I want you to keep yourself happy and I hope that my death won’t cause you too much distress. In all honesty, I hope that everything works well for Thomas, yourself and the others now that I am gone and that you will be able to see beyond my death and see it as me releasing you from a burden.  
We will see each other in the next life (if there is another one), Logan

Dear Virgil,  
Who would have thought that I would be the one offing myself? It was a pleasure to be acquainted with you and I believe that you will do great things for Thomas. You are a great debate opponent and my only regret is not debating with you more. I think a new logic will come to take my place and I hope it isn’t too much to ask you to look after him until he knows how things will work around the mind palace. Don’t be too sad now that I am gone for, I was but a faulty version of what the new logic will be.  
Goodbye, Logan

Dear Roman,  
By the time you read this, I should be dead, I am sorry to say this, but I hope that you are the one to find me because if you are then I can ensure that I won’t damage anyone too greatly with the sight of my deceased body. I hope all your future quests and adventures go to plan. I know it won’t mean much now but I am sorry that I pushed for you to get new ideas quickly and I wish that there was a way I could have seen my wrongdoing earlier as I would have apologised I person and not hidden behind a piece of paper. I wish I had more words to say but I can’t think of anything to say at this moment. Please keep Patton and Virgil strong because I fear what fate beholds them if they don’t stay strong.  
Farewell, Logan

Dear Deceit and Remus,  
You must be wondering why I have one for you guys so I will keep it short. Make sure nothing bad happens to the others now that I am gone. I don’t fully trust you two, but I know you care about Thomas’ wellbeing so therefore you won’t wish for anyone else dead. I feel as though you two were not given a chance and I want you to be able to have a chance to prove to Thomas and everyone else that you two aren’t the bad guys. I trust that you two will keep order while I am gone.  
Goodbye for the final time, Logan

Once the letters were written, Logan grabbed for the bottle of pills and hesitated; the bottle was open and all it would take would be a quick movement and he wouldn’t have to suffer through his peer’s harsh gazes or their impossible critiques and he would be able to finally be at peace with himself even if it was for all the wrong reasons. He poured all the pills out of the bottle and swallowed them, he didn’t have time to be precise, he just wanted – no needed – to be gone. The blissful feeling of numbness flowed through Logan’s body and he started to relax into the numbing hold that he was in. As Logan’s vision faded to black, he let tears escape from his eyes and hoped that he made the right decision.

**Author's Note:**

> I am sorry... I will see you next time (>.<) byeee


End file.
